In Heat
by Dangereux
Summary: Cophine AU, lots of fluff, not much else. Written for a prompt requesting a love triangle. Spoiler Alert: everything ends in smut, as if we need any more angst in our lives. I wouldn't do that to you.
1. Cosima

A/N: These are dark times for Cophine. I know this. You know this. And we are all going to need a serious amount of fluff if we're going to make it through this hiatus in one piece. This story is nearly completely written and will be posted in its entirety within a week, and I kept the angst as minimal as possible, to spare your tired little cophine-shipping hearts. So please, enjoy, and stay hopeful.  
PS: this was inspired by a prompt request from user thetravelingkid, who asked for a love triangle. Ask and ye shall receive.

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"Holy fuck it's hot."

Cosima took a gasping, dramatic breath as she flopped onto her living room couch, pressing an icepack to her clammy forehead. Dressed in a crop top and shorts, her damp skin stuck uncomfortably to the faux leather material of the couch, making an unpleasant sticky-sounding noise every time she moved. "Dude, I think I'm dying."

Sarah, draped across an overstuffed armchair like a wilted flower, reached an arm over to swat Cosima's knee before letting it fall back heavily against her body. "Oi, don't say shit like that, Cos." Cosima glanced over at her best friend, whose eyes were shut as if to block out the stifling heat. The fine hairs surrounding her hairline were plastered to her forehead with sweat, a thin frown playing across her lips.

"Sorry, poor choice of words," Cosima replied gently. "But seriously it has to be like, what? 40 degrees? And the landlord can't deal with the busted AC until he's back from his cottage? Like, that has to be illegal, right? We should look it up on the tenancy board website. It's like a human rights issue."

"Mmmhmm," Sarah replied, not bothering to open her eyes as a bead of sweat trickled down her forehead. Cosima had made the same argument about 3 times that day already, but neither of them had made the move to actually get up and check her rights online. The thought of moving at all was practically out of the question.

"Well we have to do something, we can't just sit here sweating until we perish of dehydration," Cosima ventured. Sarah cracked an eye open, Cosima quickly recognizing the glint of warning in her eyes at the mention of death again, but said nothing. "I think this calls for a relocation, don't you?" Cosima asked, reaching a bare foot forward to nudge Sarah's shoulder.

Sarah gave her foot a smack, but both her eyes were open now, intrigued by the promise of cooler conditions. "And just what are you suggesting?" she sighed, sitting up straight and running her fingers through her wild mass of hair.

Cosima sat up as well, wincing as the skin of her back slowly came unglued from the couch, and dropped the already melting ice pack on the coffee table. "I'm suggesting beer," she grinned, eyes bright with excitement. "Ice. Cold. Beer. And a nice, cool restaurant with the AC turned on to full blast, so cold we're shivering."

Sarah eyed her skeptically as she scooped up Cosima's abandoned ice pack and pressed it to her neck. "Am I supposed to believe this idea has nothing to do with a certain Quebecoise waitress you've been pining for?" Cosima shot her a glare. She had first laid eyes on Delphine, a waitress at their local hangout, nearly 6 months ago, and had been steadily falling for the girl ever since. Though she had yet to do anything about it, much to Sarah's irritation.

Cosima scoffed, "Give me a little credit, would you? I have nothing but your best interests in mind here. If Delphine _happens_ to be working, well that would just be an added bonus." She wiggled her eyebrows, "What do you say?"

Sarah's grin matched her own. "I say you're buying."

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"Are you serious?! Nothing? Not even at the bar?!" The desperation in Cosima's voice was plain, her fingers clutching at the hostess' counter so tight her knuckles were white. The hostess, clearly burned out from having to deal with over-heated, cranky customers all day heaved a poorly-supressed sigh.

"I'm sorry, miss, but all I have is the patio. Every seat inside is filled."

Cosima dropped her chin to her chest, glasses sliding down the bridge of her nose in the heat. Clearly every other person in Toronto had had the same idea. Cosima turned around to face Sarah, who was standing behind her with her arms crossed in irritation. "Screw it, Cos. Every other place on the way here was just as packed. Let's just sit in some shade on the patio. At least there might be a breeze out there, it's better than sitting in your furnace of an apartment."

Cosima had to agree, turning defeatedly back to the hostess who grabbed two menus and seated them in a shady corner table on the patio. The air was so hot and humid it felt like walking through syrup, each breath in was like trying to breathe through a damp cloth. Cosima and Sarah both slid lethargically into their seats and immediately ordered a pitcher of beer.

Sarah tilted her head back and scooped her hair up in a pile on top of her head, trying to allow the air to hit her clammy neck. Cosima, whose dreads were wrapped up in a neat bun, took a menu from the table and started to fan her friend. Sarah laughed, "That just feels like you're stood there holding a blow drier on my face!"

" _Well,"_ a soft voice interjected from over Cosima's shoulder, " _perhaps you should try this instead."_ Cosima started, dropping the menu as a truly gorgeous woman with a truly incredible Quebec accent placed a large, foaming pitcher of beer in front of them.

"Hello Delphine," Cosima said with a wide smile, not bothering to hide her pleasure at seeing that she was working.

"Bonsoir, Cosima," Delphine answered with a wry smile. "Hello, Sarah," she added, nodding to Sarah who gave her a wave and a lop-sided grin. Cosima had chatted with the waitress so often over the past few months that their banter was warm and familiar, like that of old friends. Cosima had wasted no time in charming Delphine whenever she was given the opportunity, and Delphine seemed to give her the opportunity more often than not. Cosima already knew a good deal about her; how many siblings she had (two older brothers), her favourite movie (The Labyrinth –a true Bowie fan), even how she took her coffee (cream, no sugar.) From the moment she had first seen her, Cosima couldn't help but feel like they had a connection. That feeling of meeting someone and knowing instantly that they will be significant in your life in some way. She'd been on the verge of asking her out so many times, but the words always seemed to get caught in her throat.

Presently, Cosima's discerning eyes rapidly drank in all the details of the tall blonde as she busied herself expertly pouring two tall glasses of pale ale. Her wild, curly hair was pinned back in a low bun, a few wilted tendrils had come loose in the heat and were brushing along her exposed collarbone as she moved. Even with her eyes cast down, Cosima could see their warm hazel color, with flecks of gold that glittered in the evening sun. Cosima noted how her bottom lip was drawn under her teeth in concentration as she poured, her eyes lighting along the sweet spray of moles that dotted Delphine's face and arms.

"Cheers," Sarah's voice pulled her from her trance, and her eyes flicked to her friend who was greedily gulping at her frosty beer.

The waitress placed the second glass in front of Cosima with a smile, holding her gaze for what seemed like an eternity before Cosima managed to choke out a thank you. "My pleasure," she replied with another deep smile, a smile that seemed so genuine and pure it made Cosima's stomach clench.

"So how is your dissertation going?" Delphine asked, hooking an errant curl behind her ear, leaning a hip against the table.

"Good, good," Cosima replied. "Well, that's not true, actually. This heat makes it hard to think straight, you know? But I've made a bit of progress, at least enough to keep my advisors off my back." Delphine grinned, ducking her head. Their respective studies were a common subject of their conversations, as neither woman seemed to have many people they could talk to about their passion for science. They were both working towards PhDs in their respective fields, though Delphine was taking the summer off to save up for tuition.

"That's wonderful," Delphine answered, "you know, I'd love to read it sometime, when it's done. It might help prepare me for when I have to write my own."

Cosima brightened, "Of course! Yeah some feedback would be great, actually."

"Great," Delphine replied, her smile faltering as she saw another patron trying to catch her eye. "Sorry, I'll be back in a few minutes to take your order." Cosima's eyes followed her as she walked over to the other table, her gaze trailing up the impossibly long length of Delphine's legs that were bare save for the short black skirt she wore.

She felt Sarah give her a swift kick to the shins under the table, and managed to mostly swallow the yelp of surprise and pain it elicited. "Hey, what the hell was that for!?" she glowered, reaching down to rub a hand over her wounded shin.

Sarah snorted, "Because you were drooling over her like a goddamned ape and I was trying to keep you from embarrassin' yourself anymore than you already have."

Cosima took a deep sip of her beer, sighing as the cool liquid hit her throat. "Was it that obvious?"

Sarah rolled her eyes, "Please, Cos. Just ask her out and save me from having to stare at your starry-eyed face for another second."

"Seriously," Cosima countered, one palm raised in the air, "you think it's that easy? I just say, 'Hi, I know I drool over you like three times a week while you're trying to earn an honest living, but why don't we go out sometime?'"

Sarah shrugged, her expression a mixture of amusement and condescension, "Yeah, 'course. How d'you think Cal and I got together? I saw him, I wanted him. Simple as that, Cos. Definitely didn't take me nearly half a year to work up the courage, unlike someone." Her friend took another sip of her beer, absent mindedly wiping her sweaty forehead with the back of her hand.

Cosima huffed, "Well that's nice for you and Cal. But it's not exactly that easy in the queer world. I don't know that she's even into chicks."

Sarah downed the last of her glass and reached for the pitcher to refill. "As if that's ever stopped you before." Cosima flashed her a wicked grin. Sarah leaned forward, her voice dropping, "And if you think for a second that she's not just as interested in you, then you are really not the genius everyone says you are. You don't see anyone else's server flirting shamelessly with their customers, do you? And how is it that we are always seated in her section?"

Cosima sighed, "Sarah…"

Sarah held a palm up, and leaned back in her chair with a sigh. "Look, Cosima. I know you got burned bad. I know Shay messed you up big time, leaving you when you were sick and that. It was a shite thing to do, and she's a shite human being for doing it. But you can't let it keep you from ever trusting again, yeah? Don't let it keep you from being happy, from having the things you want. What's the point of you being healthy now if you're just gonna waste all your time with your nose pressed to your laptop screen, eh?"

Cosima, wiping the foam from her lips, scoffed noisily. "It's called finishing my dissertation, Sarah, sort of important too, you know."

Sarah lifted her glass in the air, finger pointing at Cosima accusingly. "You're using that as an excuse. Quit being such a twat and tell her that you like her. I haven't seen you look like that at a girl, in well…ever, actually."

Cosima huffed, toying with her knife and fork. "Sarah you don't get it. Delphine is like, ethereally beautiful, crazy smart, and adorable in every conceivable way. She is a goddess, and a commoner such as myself can't just go blurting my feelings at her like that, she'd think I was insane," she scoffed. "I will move at my own pace on this, okay? Now can we drop it?"

"Sure," Sarah replied a little too casually. Cosima's eyes flew up and saw that Sarah's were glittering with malicious glee. She groaned internally as she turned her head and saw that the woman she had just been gushing about was standing just behind her, with an expression of amusement and surprise on her face that told Cosima she had most likely heard absolutely everything that was just said.

Delphine cleared her throat and stepped closer to the table, now standing in between them. "Uh, if you two are ready to order…?"

"Yeah, love, I'll have a cheeseburger, and Cosima here will have an order of fish tacos," Sarah replied, her eyes brimming with tears of mirth.

It was Cosima's turn to kick her under the table, as she quickly interjected "Uh, actually I'll just have the house salad please." Cosima could feel her face burning in humiliation and prayed that this woman attributed her flushed cheeks to the heat.

Delphine ducked her head, her pencil flying across her note pad. "Anything else?" she asked, her gaze fixed solely on Cosima. Cosima's heart stopped. The look in the blonde's eyes was almost expectant, hopeful, the way she phrased the words seemed heavy with ambiguity.

Cosima's eyes widened, unsure if she was imagining the interest she saw in the waitress's eyes. "Uhh…" she faltered.

Sarah piped in, "That depends, you know anywhere that has working AC?"

Delphine's face broke into a smile, her gaze turning to focus on Sarah. "Yes, actually. My roommate and I are having a party tonight after my shift, our air conditioning is working just fine. And we have a pool, too. You are both welcome to come, if you like. And feel free to bring some friends."

"Wh-Seriously?" Cosima blurted, unable to believe that this incredible creature had seriously just asked them to come to a party.

Delphine raised her eyebrows, turning back to Cosima. "Yes, seriously. Does that surprise you?"

Cosima let out a nervous chuckle, her heart beating wildly. "No! No, not at all. It's just extremely well timed, since my AC is busted."

Delphine smiled, the expression on her face unreadable to Cosima, "Must be fate. Besides, my roommate made me promise I'd bring home some young, good-looking friends for his party, but so far no one from work is available. And if you could not tell," she lowered her voice, gesturing at the crowded restaurant behind her, "you two are the only ones that I've seen today that fit that description." Cosima smiled at that, her eyes flicking to Sarah briefly, who was watching the exchange with rapt attention. "Anyway," the blonde woman continued, "if you're interested, I'm off in an hour. Just let me know." She lifted the notebook in her hand, tucking her pencil daintily behind her ear, "I'll just go put your orders in."

As Delphine made to walk away, Cosima impulsively reached a hand out, wrapping her fingers gently around the blonde's wrist. "Delphine?" she said quickly, the name feeling electric on her tongue. Delphine stopped in her tracks, lips slightly parted in surprise as she looked from the fingers encircling her wrist to Cosima's warm and earnest eyes. "We'll be there."

Delphine's face broke into a grin that to Cosima radiated a heat warmer than even the scorching sun. "Perfect. My shift finishes at 9:00, meet me out front? We can walk from here."

"Definitely," Cosima nodded.

Delphine flashed her a parting smile and turned again, headed for the kitchen.

Cosima turned back to Sarah, whose face fixed in a smug grin.

"What can I say? This heat makes people do crazy things."

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Let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading!


	2. Cosima Again

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"Would you stop fidgeting, Cosima? It's a party for Christ's sake, not a bloody root canal."

Cosima, who had previously been pacing the sidewalk in front of the restaurant in nervous agitation, ceased her endless marching and stood facing Sarah, worrying at the various rings on her fingers. A line of concern was etched between her brows. "I know that Sarah, it's just been a while since I've been around anyone that I'm interested in, you know? I'm like…rusty. What if I forget how to flirt?" She shook her head, as if to physically fling the barrage of thoughts from her mind, "What am I saying, I don't even know if she's interested in me. Like, meeting a girl that looks like that, is available, _and_ queer? I'm not that lucky." She flung her hands in the air. "I'm just not." She resumed her pacing until Sarah stuck a leg out from where she sat on the steps leading to the restaurant, tripping Cosima and causing her to stumble.

She managed to right herself before turning to shoot Sarah a venomous look. Sarah raised her palms in a signal of peace "Hey, Cos. You're not marrying the girl. You're just gonna hang out. Maybe she's straight, maybe she's seeing someone, whatever. The point is you're gonna be meeting new people and branching out a bit, yeah? It'll be good for you."

"Wow, thanks Dad." Cosima sighed with a sarcastic thumbs up.

Sarah stood, "Look, I'm not trying to tell you what to do with your life. But god knows you could use some fun after the year you've had, yeah? Have a few drinks, a few laughs, what's the harm? Felix and Cal are gonna stop by too! Besides, this Delphine girl, she looks at you the same way you look at her. Trust me, I saw it. No way she's not interested."

Cosima didn't share Sarah's confidence, but she relaxed a bit nonetheless. "You're right. It's just a party. I need to stop wigging out."

"Who is wigging out?" Delphine interjected as she rounded the corner behind Cosima. Cosima whipped around, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

"No one! Man you really know how to sneak up on a girl, don't you?" she joked, trying to deflect Delphine's curious gaze.

"Oh yes, I left out the back," she smiled, jamming a thumb over her shoulder. "Ready?" The two girls nodded and followed Delphine in the direction of her home, engaged in easy banter. Even as the light faded from the sky, the heat from the pavement burned through the soles of their shoes, and the three women were drenched in sweat by the time they reached Delphine's house ten minutes later.

Her house was an old Victorian with a wide set of steps and a roomy porch, a porch already packed with people. The white noise of their collective chatter could be heard from a block away, the steady _thump_ of the music pulsated from somewhere inside the house. There were people spilling out the front door, lying in the grass on the lawn, Cosima looked up and could even see a couple of people smoking on the roof.

"Wow, Delphine," Sarah mused, "Your roommate really knows how to throw a party."

"'A few people', he told me he was going to invite _a few people."_ Delphine fumed. " _Merde."_ Delphine squared her shoulders and led the other two inside, pushing their way past dozens of people to make their way into the crowded living room, the cool breath of the air conditioning washing over them.

"Oh my goooood," Sarah moaned as she sank onto a vacated corner of the couch "That feels like bloody heaven on earth."

"An oasis in the desert, sugar," a nearby party-goer commented, rounding the corner from the adjoining hall. He was average height, with a mane of unruly hair, and cat-like incisors that gave him a mischievous look.

"Bonsoir Tony," Delphine called over the music, unpinning her hair to let it fall in loose curls around her shoulders. "This is not quite the night I had envisioned, as I am sure you are aware," she said, her voice wary.

"Del," Tony replied, "Look, I know it's more people than we discussed. But can I help it if you and I are so popular? I swear, I will do all the cleaning tomorrow morning, you have nothing to worry about, alright?" Delphine rolled her eyes but Cosima could see she was already starting to crack a smile.

"I will believe that when I see it," she said with a wry grin.

Tony smiled his Cheshire-cat smile, then turned his attention to their newest guests. "What have we got here?"

"I fulfilled my promise to you," Delphine responded over the music and chatter, hanging her purse in a closet by the front door, and having to scoot aside about three people in order to do so. "These are some friends of mine, Cosima and Sarah. This is my roommate Tony," Tony gave them a friendly nod. "There will be a couple more of their friends joining us shortly," Delphine added.

"More the merrier," Tony replied, "why don't we get you ladies something to drink?"

"Thought you'd never ask," Sarah said with a grin. She hauled herself to her feet, following Tony down the hall towards the kitchen, Delphine and Cosima close behind. The house was so packed with people Cosima lost sight of the others as she struggled to squeeze her way through the sea of warm bodies lining the hallway. She stumbled as an inebriated party-goer knocked into her, hand flying out to steady herself. Just as she was about to lose her balance, she felt long fingers curl around her own and looked up to see Delphine, who had fought her way back through the crowd to find her.

"There you are!" Delphine smiled down at her, "I thought I had lost you. _Allons-y_!" she grasped Cosima's hand tighter and headed back for the kitchen, towing Cosima along in her wake. Cosima's mouth had gone dry at the feeling of Delphine's fingers curled snugly around her own, at the gentle pull as she led Cosima through the house by the hand, at the frequent glances she threw over her shoulder to make sure Cosima was alright.

At last they made their way into the slightly-less crowded kitchen, each gratefully taking a beer from Tony as he handed them out. Delphine was standing so close to Cosima that she could feel the press of Delphine's arm against her side as she breathed in. Tony and Sarah were becoming fast friends, and quickly got involved in rounding everyone up for a game of beer pong, the partiers making way for the table to be set up. Cosima and Delphine stepped away from the crowd to make room, their backs pressed against the kitchen counter.

"It's awfully crowded and noisy in here," Delphine noted, taking a long pull on her beer. "Why don't we go outside, where it's a little quieter? We can go take a swim to cool down. What do you say?"

Cosima's eyebrows shot up, "Oh! Well I'd love to, but since I didn't leave the house assuming I would get invited to an awesome pool party, I don't actually have my bathing suit on me."

Delphine shrugged, "You can just wear your underwear, no?"

Cosima rubbed the back of her neck, "Uh, well, I _could_ , you know, theoretically. Except that…" she trailed off, blushing.

Delphine smiled, puzzled. "Except what?"

"Except that I'm not actually wearing any."

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Cosima adjusted the top of her borrowed swim suit, appraising herself in the bathroom mirror. Though she was more petite than her blonde counterpart, a careful tightening of various straps made the black bikini serviceable. Her eyes roved the exposed flesh of her body, frowning. It was definitely more skin than she'd showed off in public in quite some time. The thin line of her mouth tightened as her eyes landed on the large scar that ran parallel to the length of her sternum. She ran a painted nail down the rope of red, raised flesh. It always surprised her, how soft the scar tissue felt. How fragile.

She lifted her eyes to the mirror, both determination and hesitance in her hazel eyes. She took in a breath, tried to ready herself to leave, but her feet remained planted firmly to the cool tiles of the bathroom floor. She sighed, scrubbed her hands over her face. _Better to rip the band-aid off early anyway, right? Better to give her a chance to run before you fall for her completely…_

A sharp knock on the bathroom door pulled Cosima from her tormented thoughts, eyes flying open as she turned to the sound. "Cosima? Does it fit alright?" Delphine's asked, her voice muffled by the door and the music flowing through the house.

Cosima opened the door, steeling herself for the multitude of reactions she typically got whenever someone saw her surgical scar. "Yeah, it's great, thanks so much for lending it to me," she replied with a tentative smile. Delphine, wrapped in a towel, allowed her eyes to flick briefly down the length of Cosima's body, lighting only for a moment on the ruined flesh of her chest before coming back up to meet Cosima's eyes. Cosima held her breath, tension coiling in her belly as she waited for Delphine's reaction. But instead of exclamations of surprise, or curiosity, or even disgust, Delphine simply flashed her a wide smile, eyes full of warmth, and reached down to take Cosima's hand. "Come."

For the second time that evening, she led Cosima through the packed halls of her home, winding them through the sea of bodies until they reached a sliding door that led out into a spacious back yard with a moderately sized pool right in the middle. The heat hit them like a wall, so heavy and thick that Cosima felt as though she could reach out and touch it. The upside was that people were much happier to stay indoors where it was considerably cooler, so the pool and backyard were far less crowded.

They set their drinks on the edge of the pool and headed straight into the cool water, the sweet relief causing Cosima to gasp. "Holy fuck that feels good," she groaned, sitting on the stairs leading into the shallow end. She sank down until she was up to her chest, shivering with pleasure. Delphine sat down next to her, sucking in a breath at the temperature change.

"It really does," she sighed, "I have been dreaming of this moment since I started my shift this morning." She shut her eyes and moved down into the water a little further, and Cosima allowed herself to steal a prolonged glance. Delphine's hair was piled in a bun on top of her head, a few loose tendrils already plastered to her neck with sweat. Her head was tilted backwards, full lips slightly parted. The light from the water danced across her gorgeous features as behind her a scattering of stars were beginning to shine in the early evening light. Cosima took in a deep breath, knowing right then that she was already lost to this woman, that her heart was already in Delphine's hands. It was terrifying in way, but she also hadn't felt this alive since before she was sick. Maybe ever.

Cosima continued to watch her as a bead of sweat trailed its way down the length of her delicate throat, across the hollow of her collarbone, trickling along her sternum, before finally plummeting into the valley of her breasts. Her tongue snaked out to swipe across her lips, the impulse to reach out and close her mouth over that drop of perspiration nearly overwhelming. She looked up to see Delphine watching her, her eyes dark and sparkling with mischief.

Before Cosima could apologize for ogling her, Delphine sucked her lower lip into her mouth, biting down on it as though to keep herself from grinning. "Cosima, I…I just wanted to say that I am very glad you came tonight. I have been hoping to spend some time with you outside of work for a while now," she admitted shyly, ducking her head briefly. Cosima felt her heart thumping in her chest, was sure that the water around her must be rippling with the motion of it, but couldn't bring herself to speak. "It's so nice to meet someone who shares the same passions as I do, and the same interests. You know?" Cosima nodded vigorously. "I was thinking that, perhaps—" whatever she had to say was cut off by a barrage of shrieks, followed by several large splashes.

The two women shielded their faces, sputtering as the spray from their fellow partiers washed over them. "Tony! _Putain_!" Delphine shouted as her roommate's face emerged from the water, grinning his cat-like grin. Cosima watched as Sarah popped up next to Tony, followed closely by Cal and Felix.

"What are you kids up to, out here?" Sarah asked, a sly grin on her face. "Sitting awfully close together in this heat," she mused.

"We're having an adult conversation, Sarah," Cosima growled, shifting herself almost imperceptibly away from Delphine, "something you obviously know nothing about."

"Right, right," Felix chimed in, his face mirroring Sarah's almost exactly. For foster siblings, their resemblance to one another was quite uncanny at times. "You gonna introduce me to your new girlfriend or what, Cos?"

Cosima sighed, rolling her eyes. "Delphine, this is Sarah's brother and royal pain in the ass, Felix. And that tall specimen over there is her boyfriend, Cal, who is alright except when he has too much to drink and eats 13 twinkies."

"Hey, that was one time!" Cal protested, before shooting Delphine a friendly grin.

"Very nice to meet you all," Delphine replied, smiling timidly. "I see you have already gotten to know my roommate, Tony."

"Yeah, he's brilliant," Sarah chimed in, sweeping a wet rope of her hair behind her ear, "Hell of a beer pong player, too."

"Yes, only one of his many talents," Delphine replied, an amused look in her eyes.

"Damn straight, babe," Tony winked at her. "You know what else I'm good at? _Noodle joust_."

Delphine groaned, while everyone else exchanged looks of confusion.

"What the hell is noodle joust?" Felix asked, arms crossed skeptically.

"It's basically an excuse to beat the crap out of each other with flotation devices," Delphine explained. "Two people kneel on an air mattress and try to knock each other off their mattresses with a pool noodle."

Tony spread his arms out wide, eyebrows raised in mischief, "Last man standing wins. Invented it myself."

"That is…bloody brilliant!" Felix laughed, clapping his hands together. "Right, I want Sarah on my team. She's vicious." Sarah grinned wickedly and slung her arm around Felix's shoulders. In a matter of moments, Delphine and Cosima were hauled, protesting, to their feet, and were added to Tony's team. "Okay," Tony announced, clearly having become the ringleader of the evening, "Just to make things interesting, whoever wins overall wins one of my famous special brownies."

The announcement was met with cheers, and even Cosima was intrigued by the prize, not having brought along a joint of her own. Prize or no prize, the sky had faded to twilight but the heat continued to press down on them, so playing around in the pool seemed as good a way as any to stay cool.

She glanced over at Delphine, who was looking at her with excitement in her eyes. "Come on, Delphine," she grinned, "let's kick some ass. I could use that brownie." Delphine laughed, the sound skipping across the water and nestling in Cosima's chest. She reached her long arm to Cosima, who waded towards her, her body clashing between the chill of the water around her waist, and the oppressive heat on her upper body.

Sarah was already clambering her way onto a mattress. "Get going, Niehaus, I'm ready to claim my brownie!"

"In your dreams, Manning!" Cosima called over her shoulder. Cosima reached Delphine who put an arm around her, sending shivers down Cosima's spine, and guided her to stand next to the large green air mattress that Tony had produced. "I'll hold it steady while you get on. Try to stay low, it's hard to stay balanced."

"You sound like you speak from experience," Cosima said with a grin.

Delphine chuckled wryly, and dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper, "I am the reigning Noodle Joust champ." She gave Cosima a wink and motioned for her to get on. Cosima gracelessly climbed her way onto the mattress, attempting to keep her balance as she rose to her knees. She felt the mattress wobbling precariously and pitched forward, nearly falling headfirst into the water. Delphine reached out and steadied her, an arm hooked around her waist. Cosima put her arm around Delphine's neck to keep herself balanced and looked down at her, panting.

"My hero," she said breathlessly. Delphine grinned up at her, and opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted for the second time that evening by a spray of water to the face.

"Oi! Quit flirting and get fighting!" Sarah shouted from her pink mattress, yellow pool noodle held over her head menacingly.

Cosima turned back to Delphine, eyebrows knit, and whispered dramatically. "Oh, it's on."

Delphine leaned up and pressed a wet kiss to the corner of Cosima's mouth, placing a blue pool noodle into her hands. "Bonne chance, Cosima!"

Cosima dipped her head, heart pounding, "For your honor, my lady."

"Get goin', Casanova," Tony laughed, pushing Cosima's mattress into the middle of the pool. Sarah's was simultaneously launched and the two women were soon sailing towards each other, pool noodles poised for maximum carnage. Had Cosima's heart not already been racing from Delphine's kiss, the ferocious glint in Sarah's eyes definitely would have done the job. Cosima swallowed and waited, body tensed, as they approached whacking distance. She lunged forward and swatted Sarah up against the arm, to the raucous applause of the gaining spectators. Sarah growled and retaliated with a solid smack to Cosima's hip. It didn't hurt, but it did cause her to wobble. She steadied herself and dodged a rather violent strike from Sarah, hearing the pool noodle whistle past her ear.

"Gotta be faster than that, Manning!" she crowed, taking her pool noodle and thrusting it at Sarah's thigh.

She saw Sarah start to teeter as she lost her balance on the mattress, shrieking an echoing "shite" before landing face first in the water below.

Cosima threw her pool noodle down in triumph, raising her arms above her head to the applause of the crowd. Delphine gave her a beaming thumbs up and shouted _"Victoire!"_ above the cheers. Sarah surfaced, sputtering, and Cosima didn't recognize the savage glint in her eyes until it was too late. Sarah's arm shot out and yanked Cosima's mattress out from underneath her, causing Cosima to pitch backwards into the water.

She felt her glasses get knocked from her face as she plummeted into the deep end, a sharp pain slicing through her foot as she somersaulted and attempted to kick off from the bottom of the pool. She surfaced, sputtering, and swam blindly towards the shallower end of the pool. A few moments later Delphine swam up next to her, hair dripping and glasses in hand. "Cosima, are you alright? I have your glasses, here," she offered them to the brunette who put them on with a weak smile.

"Yeah, I'm good, I'm good," she assured the blonde.

"Nice moves you got there, Dreads," Tony cheered, coming to greet Cosima as well. "I think you might even give Cormier a run for her money," he said with an air of genuine admiration.

"Oi, geekmonkey," Sarah interrupted, panting as she swam up to them, "sorry I had to do you like that, just couldn't have you getting cocky on me, yeah?" she laughed. Her smile faded as she saw the look of pain on Cosima's face. "Hey, you alright?"

"Yeah, I think I just cut myself on something," Cosima replied, looking down at her foot.

"Oh shit, Cos, you're bleeding!" Sarah cried, indicating the dark cloud of crimson that was surrounding Cosima's foot under the water.

"Hey, chill cousin, it's just a little cut by the looks of it," Tony soothed. Both he and Delphine were looking at Sarah's uncharacteristically pale face and serious tone with open curiosity.

"We've got to get you out of the pool," Sarah breathed, wrapping her fingers around Cosima's arm until her knuckles were white.

"Ow! Sarah, it's fine, okay? Why don't you stay, you can take my place on the team, okay? It's nothing, really," she insisted, imploring Sarah with her eyes to drop the subject. Sarah stared back at her challengingly for a moment but eventually backed down, letting her usual lopsided smile return to her face.

"Yeah, alright. Ya cheated anyway so now I have the chance to claim my rightful place as champion," she grinned, though the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. She and Tony rejoined the crowd, two new players already having mounted their mattresses. Delphine stayed at Cosima's side, watching her with concern.

"Why don't we get you out of the pool, I will take a look at that foot of yours," she suggested gently.  
Cosima nodded, gingerly trying to walk along the pool without putting pressure on her injured foot. "Here," she felt Delphine step towards her, a hand suddenly on her back. "Let me help you." Before she could reply, Delphine swept a long arm under Cosima's knees and scooped her up, allowing the buoyancy of the water to assist her in cradling Cosima to her chest as she waded towards the stairs.

A laugh of surprise erupted from Cosima's throat as she automatically looped her arms around Delphine's neck. "Have I mentioned today that you're my hero?" she asked, looking up at Delphine with a dimpled smile, heart fluttering at the feeling of her bare flesh being pressed to the blonde's.

"You have, actually," Delphine smiled down at her, crossing the distance to the stairs and placing her gently on the steps leading out of the pool. Cosima kept an arm hooked around her waist for support, and the two of them managed to hobble to the bathroom.

"Sit here, let me take a look," Delphine ordered, flicking on the bathroom light and sitting next to Cosima on the edge of the tub. She pulled Cosima's foot into her lap, inspecting the gash in her heel. Cosima watched her with a mixture of fascination and bemusement. "Looks like some idiot must have broken a glass and knocked it into the pool. You still have a piece in your foot."

Cosima knit her eyebrows, "Shit, really?"

Delphine nodded, "Mm, yes, I'll have to pull it out. Hang on." She set Cosima's foot down gently, gathering various supplies before taking a seat and pulling it back into her lap.

Cosima tensed, hands poised to stop Delphine's advances. "Okay, whoa, wait a minute, maybe I should do it myself."

"You won't be able to see it properly, it's right at the back of your heel. I know what I'm doing," Delphine said firmly, moving in with a pair of tweezers.

"Ah, whoa, okay," Cosima squirmed, catching Delphine's wrist in her hand, "I think we're moving too fast here."

Delphine bit back a chuckle, " _Pardon_?" Cosima's mouth dropped open but no explanation came out. Delphine grinned with what looked like affection. "Cosima are you afraid?"

"What?" Cosima sputtered with false bravado. "Afraid? No, ha, _no_ of course not." She rubbed the back of her neck. "I just think we need to like, make a plan here, right? We can't just be yanking things out of my foot like…willy-nilly."

Delphine laughed outright, "Cosima. You have glass in your foot. My 'plan' is to remove it. I think it's the most logical choice, non?" Cosima sighed. "I will be gentle, I promise," Delphine assured her. "Don't you trust me?" she asked, her voice dropping an octave. Her eyes had darkened, the line of her mouth serious.

Cosima swallowed. "Yes." She released Delphine's wrist. Delphine went to work, yanking out the glass in one steady motion and starting to clean. Cosima winced briefly but was able to keep her cool, distracting herself while she watched the blonde work diligently, suddenly hyper aware that they were both only dressed in bikinis.

"Sarah, she seemed very concerned for you," Delphine noted quietly as she began to wrap Cosima's foot in a bandage. Cosima froze. _Here we go._ Delphine's eyes flicked up briefly to meet hers before returning to her task. "She does not seem like the type of girl that gets upset easily." She smoothed her fingers over the bandage, securing it in place, before meeting Cosima's eyes again. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it with me," she added. "I just thought it might have something to do with this," she continued, voice lowering as she reached out and pressed the tip of her index finger to Cosima's surgical scar. Cosima drew in an audible breath as Delphine let her finger run slowly along the length of her sternum, her flesh erupting in goosebumps. Her eyes followed Delphine's index finger as it dipped down, down, down, stopping just at the apex of her cleavage. Her breathing was becoming labored, eyelids heavy with arousal as she dragged her eyes back up to meet Delphine's. The taller woman's finger was still on her, pointed almost directly at her heart, and Cosima thought she saw Delphine lean in a fraction before a sharp knock brought the two of them springing apart from each other like guilty teenagers.

"Cos, you in there?"

Cosima stood, Delphine taking her hand to pull her to her feet. "Yeah Sarah," she called, opening the door to see Sarah's pale face. "What's up?"

"How's the foot?" Sarah asked. Cosima knew by the fact that Sarah wasn't teasing them for being alone in the bathroom together that she was still spooked.

"It's fine, really, Delphine just bandaged me up."

"Right, good." Sarah nodded, "Listen I just got a call from Mrs. S. Kira's sick, some kind of a stomach bug, she's asking for me."

"Oh, shit, okay, well I guess we'll have to head out then," Cosima replied with a sinking heart. She glanced up at Delphine who she thought also had a look of disappointment in her eyes.

"Yeah, sorry mate. I'll just go get Cal and Fe, meet you out front?"

Cosima nodded, "Yeah just give me five minutes." Sarah headed back outside to gather the others, leaving the two of them alone. Cosima turned to Delphine, who was looking at her questioningly, "Kira is Sarah's daughter. I'm really sorry we have to go so early."

Delphine nodded, the corners of her mouth turned down in a frown. "Me too. Come, I put your things in my room." They both automatically reached for each other's hands, Delphine interlacing their fingers as she began to lead her through the throng of people and up the stairs. Tony had hung signs reading "DO NOT ENTER, SHITHEADS" on their bedroom doors. Cosima chuckled as Delphine opened her bedroom door and motioned her to go inside. "Yes, I know. Tony has a very particular sense of humor," Delphine mused.

She shut the door behind them to close out the noise of the crowd, and walked across her room to gather Cosima's clothes. Cosima stole a glance around the room in the soft, dim light of Delphine's bedside lamp. The room was neat, and simply furnished, with a few personal photos and pieces of art on the walls. One wall was entirely taken up with shelf after shelf of books. There were pieces of clothing draped here and there on her desk, bed, chair. Cosima smiled to herself. The room was soft, cozy, feminine. Very Delphine.

The subject of her thoughts walked towards her and handed her the clothing she'd folded neatly. 'Thanks," Cosima said hoarsely, the fact that they were standing barely clothed and alone in Delphine's bedroom hitting her like a freight train. "I'll just change really quick." She walked to the corner of the room, away from the windows that faced the front yard, and turned her back on Delphine. She could sense that Delphine's eyes had not left her as she started to undo the back of her bathing suit, letting it drop to the floor with a soft, damp sound. She could feel those hazel eyes burning into her back as she pulled her crop top on over her bare chest and, slowly, purposefully hooked her thumbs under the elastic of the bathing suit bottoms. She heard the sound of a sharp intake of breath and couldn't resist looking over her shoulder just in time to see Delphine turn away and start changing into her own clothes. The sound of Sarah, Cal, and Felix chatting from the front yard one story below was the only thing that tore her eyes away from Delphine and made her hurriedly finish changing.

She pulled on her shorts and turned around to see Delphine, now fully dressed, waiting with her back turned politely. Cosima scooped up her suit from the ground and walked towards Delphine. "Hey, I'm ready to go," she said softly, Delphine turning at the sound of her voice. "Thanks for lending me your bathing suit," she smiled, "I can wash it and return it some time, if you want?" she offered hopefully. _Any flimsy reason to see her again will do…_

"Oh, you don't have to do that," Delphine dismissed her offer, taking the suit and hanging it to dry by the windowsill. She stepped back towards Cosima, reached out for her briefly and then let her hand drop lamely to her side. They stared at each other for a few beats as the warm summer air caressed their faces, and the sound of the many people in the house filled the silence.

"What are you doing Friday?" Cosima blurted, unable to face the idea of only ever seeing Delphine as a patron of her restaurant.

Delphine blinked, her eyes widening, and a small smile creeping across her face. "I work, but I'm free after 9:00pm…" she bit her lip, and Cosima's stomach clenched.

"Cool, cool," Cosima babbled, "Cause Cal's band is playing at an outdoor music festival in the park downtown. There's gonna be lots of bands, and fireworks and stuff. You should come, you know, if you-if you want to." She looked at the floor, her body one single, condensed nerve ending of anxiety as she waited for Delphine's response.

"I would love to," came Delphine's reply, accompanied with a wide, beaming grin. Cosima tried to play it cool, which was incredibly difficult since she felt as though her chest had become inhabited by a surge of pink, fluttering butterflies.

"Great! Good. That's really, uh, I'm really looking forward to it," Cosima babbled, toying with the rings on her fingers. "Here let me give you my number," she added quickly, looking around for something to write with. Delphine quickly supplied her with a pencil and paper from her desk and Cosima scribbled her digits down in her chicken-scratch hand. "Maybe you could send me a text tonight so I have your number saved," she said casually, eyebrows raised.

Delphine nodded, "Of course!"

"Oi! Geekmonkey!" Sarah's voice came sailing in through the window. Cosima walked to the open window and looked down into the front yard, hands resting on the sill.

"Can I help you?" she called down.

"Let's go, we managed to get a cab and that's not gonna happen twice on a Saturday night so get down here!"

"Coming, coming," she said with a roll of her eyes, pulling her upper body back inside. She turned around to find Delphine standing so close to her that she could count her eyelashes. "Well, I guess I should head down. Thanks for inviting us tonight, I had a really great time."

"Me too," Delphine replied, and moved in to kiss Cosima on the cheek for the second time that evening, her soft curls dragging along Cosima's collarbone as she did so. "Thank you for coming." Cosima, rendered completely speechless at this point, simply nodded with a smile and made for the door, tossing a wave over her shoulder as she headed down the stairs.

She ran to the front yard and piled in the waiting cab with a mildly annoyed Sarah, who she paid no mind to whatsoever, her heart full of other things. She leaned back on the seat and shut her eyes, trying to memorize and replay every moment, when she felt her phone buzz in her back pocket. An unknown number had texted her, and her fingers flew to unlock her phone, allowing her to read the new message.

 **Bonsoir, Cosima. See you Friday : )**

Her face split into a grin as she quickly typed in a response.

 **Can't wait ;)**


	3. Delphine

"Cormier! Your shift isn't over for another hour so quit checking the clock and go check on table 12!"

Delphine sighed and swept a strand of loose hair back behind her ear. "Yes, Martin!" she called to her increasingly irritable manager as she scooped up a tray of drinks and delivered them to the waiting table. She'd been distracted all week, the thought of _today,_ Friday - _the day –_ taking precedence over everything else in her brain.

Including her job.

She'd mixed up two orders and broken three dishes today alone, and Martin was quickly losing patience with her. She was normally speedy and efficient at her job, and she could tell her lack of focus was driving him mad. She could see a large vein popping out the side of his red, sweaty face as he stormed into the kitchen to shout at the line cooks, and resolved not to mess anything up for the last…47 minutes of her shift. She turned to double check the clock and knocked a wine glass off the bar with her elbow, causing it to shatter explosively all over the floor.

She groaned, eyes closed, as she heard Martin's feet stamping their way out to the front. He took in the scene before him, face purpling, and pointed a finger at the door. "Go home, Delphine! You're no good to me in this condition, so go and do whatever you have to do to get your head back on your shoulders!"

She mumbled an apology as she tore off her apron and grabbed her things from under the counter, not even trying to hide her delight at sneaking out early. Martin grabbed her elbow on her way out the door, leaning in to whisper to her conspiratorially. "Whoever he is, he's a lucky guy." He winked at her and released her arm, and she ducked outside choking on her stifled laughter.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Delphine raced home to shower and change, letting her hair air dry into a mass of wild curls as she pulled on a loose summer dress and applied red lipstick to her lips. She didn't bother with anything else, the heatwave had shown no signs of receding over the past few days, and any attempt at makeup would be sliding down her face the second she walked out of the door anyway.

She was just catching the bus as she heard her phone beep in her purse, and checked her messages to find one from Cosima. She took a seat as she grinned at her phone, her heart fluttering at the first message she'd gotten from the brunette since the night she boldly invited Cosima to her house. Her eyes flicked across her screen, grin spreading as she read the text.

 **Hey gorgeous, you on your way?**

Her fingers skimmed across the surface of her phone as she replied.

 **Just caught the bus, 20 minutes away. Need anything?**

The response was almost immediate, and caused a surge of warmth to pool in her stomach.

 **Just you.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The sun was just starting to fade in the sky as Delphine stepped off the bus, a sinking feeling in her stomach as she saw the massive number of people that had set up camp in the city park. The place was a sea of blankets, lawn chairs, and barbecues. _Merde, how am I going to find her in this crowd?_ She wiped her damp forehead with the back of her hand and was about to pull out her phone to text Cosima when she felt strong hands grip her hips from behind. She yelped and spun around to see Cosima laughing, palms up in defense. "Sorry, sorry! Couldn't help myself."

Delphine's shocked expression melted into a grin, "You little brat." She swatted Cosima on the shoulder. "I nearly elbowed you in the gut!"

"Yeah, well I would have deserved it," Cosima laughed. "Come on, Sarah's got us a prime spot way at the front, by the stage. I figured it would be easier to meet you here." Beaming, Cosima reached for Delphine's hand and led her into the mass of people. "You came at a good time, they're between bands right now, and Cal hasn't been on yet," Cosima called over her shoulder as she towed Delphine through the crowd.

"Oh good," Delphine replied, stumbling over someone's outstretched legs and making a hurried apology as Cosima steadied her and pulled her on, "I managed to get out of work a little early." Delphine had to bite her lip to stop herself from grinning like a fool at the feeling of Cosima's hand in hers. She'd been dreaming of this, of Cosima, since she'd been left standing alone and overwhelmed in the dim light of her bedroom, the smell of chlorine and Cosima lingering on her skin. Now that the moment she'd dreamed of all week had finally arrived, she felt as though her heart was going to burst out of her chest. She tried to calm her breathing as Cosima ducked and weaved around the hoard of people stretched out on their various stakes of land, at last finding the spot Sarah had saved for them near the front.

Sarah and Felix were stretched out on a large blanket, leaning back on their elbows and laughing about something with their heads thrown back. Cosima reached into a blue cooler set to the side of their blanket and flicked a piece of ice at Sarah who jumped as it hit her in the temple. "Oi! Ya twat!" she laughed, hurling the chunk of ice back at Cosima who squealed and ducked just in time.

She popped back up with a cheerful smile on her face, "Look who's here!"

Delphine waved, suddenly feeling nervous at being the focus of Cosima's rather protective friends. "Hello, Sarah, Felix," she called. They exchanged hellos and invited Delphine and Cosima to sit.

"Paul said his band won't be on until after the fireworks," Sarah informed them.

"Sounds good," Cosima replied distractedly as she rummaged in the cooler. "You want a drink?" she asked Delphine, eyebrows raised mischievously.

"I'd love one."

Cosima grinned, "I was hoping you'd say that." She put both hands in the cooler and pulled out a large pitcher of a tea-colored liquid.

"Uh, Cos," Sarah interrupted, "She said she wanted a drink. Not that swill you're always pushing on people."

"It is not 'swill', Sarah," Cosima protested as she filled two glasses with the murky liquid. "It is in a class of its own. It's a delicious, and shall we say… _potent_ —"

"—you mean lethal," Felix interrupted.

"—drinking experience," Cosima finished as she handed the cup to Delphine with a flourish. "I call it… _The Godfather.´_ She whispered dramatically.

"I call it 'the reason for every mistake I've made in the last ten years'," Sarah added.

Delphine, who had the drink halfway to her lips, looked up in hesitation.

"Don't do it, Delphine. You have such beautiful skin," Felix said breathlessly.

"Would you two cut it with the histrionics?" Cosima chided, "It's a _drink_. Besides you always start out all anti and then end up getting blotto on it just like the rest of us."

"Exactly," Sarah replied, "The Godfather already has us in its grips. But it's not too late to save yourself, Delphine."

Delphine giggled into her cup and lowered it from her lips, "Alright, Cosima, just what is in this?"

"A little of this, a little of that," Cosima replied mysteriously. "Come on," she said, her voice lowering, reaching a hand out to rest on Delphine's knee. "Do you trust me?"

Delphine felt her breath hitch at the look in Cosima's eyes, and in lieu of a reply took a healthy sip of the drink. She scrunched her eyes shut, anticipating the sting of alcohol on the back of her throat, but it never came. She opened her eyes, Cosima watching her with a look of anticipation, tongue quite adorably between her teeth.

"It's good!" Delphine laughed in surprise, her eyebrows raising.

Felix and Sarah groaned. "That's what we said, the first time." Sarah sighed.

It wasn't just good. It was delicious.

Sweet, but not cloying. The alcohol wasn't overpowering. And the flavor was not unlike peaches mixed with ice tea. Delphine reached out to give Cosima's cup a soft, plastic-sounding click with her own. "Cheers!"

Cosima's smile lit up her face, "Cheers," she replied, taking a drink of her own.

Their conversation was interrupted by sound of an acoustic guitar playing a low, booming chord that echoed through the crowd. The chatter around them softened and the next band introduced themselves and started their set. Their music was a type of mellow folk, pleasant and easy listening as the heat of the fading day continued to cover them like a blanket.

Delphine and Cosima sipped their drinks, stretched out next to each other on their sides, and chatted while the various bands played on, and the sky above them darkened. Delphine already knew a good deal about Cosima through their many interactions at the restaurant, but it was so nice to get to know the other parts of her, especially the parts that weren't about academia. Like how she scrunched her nose when she laughed, tongue sticking out between her incisors like a feral cat. Or how she twisted her rings when she was feeling shy or nervous, or vulnerable. Delphine drank in every little detail, her heart filling with all the pieces of this woman, and still she found herself craving more.

Since their first interaction, Delphine had felt the significance of Cosima, the inevitability of her. She'd understood with a certainty previously unknown to her that Cosima would be meaningful in her life. And over the previous months as her crush on Cosima grew into something she was afraid to name, she'd waited for something to happen. So many times, during one of their conversations stolen between orders at the restaurant, Delphine had thought that Cosima was going to make a move. But something always seemed to stop her at the last minute. There was a hesitation, a wariness that would appear in Cosima's eyes, and the moment would pass. Delphine eventually realized that it was her that was going to have to take things forward, and so she'd done so with the first opportunity she'd been given. Thank god for this heatwave.

Delphine smiled to herself, taking a sip of her ice cold drink, and realized she'd already nearly drained yet another glass. "Let me top you up," Cosima offered, refilling Delphine's drink dutifully.

Delphine's smile widened, her limbs feeling loose with the effects of the liquor. "If I didn't know any better I'd think you were trying to get me drunk," she laughed.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you already are," Cosima countered, grinning wickedly. She flopped back down on her side, her tank top gaping, and Delphine felt her gaze dropping to the newly exposed skin, and the scar that marred her flesh. Cosima followed the line of Delphine's gaze and raised her eyebrows mischievously. "I can't tell if you're looking at my cleavage or my scar," she smirked.

Delphine turned her head away, embarrassed at being caught, and then forced herself to meet Cosima's eyes. "Both," she answered honestly, with a blush.

Cosima smiled back, her shoulders shaking with laughter. "Well, you can ask if me. If you want." Her tone was noncommittal, but Delphine saw the trepidation in Cosima's eyes.

"About your cleavage?" she asked innocently, hoping to lighten the mood.

Cosima burst out laughing and swatted her on the arm. "Don't be a shit!"

Delphine laughed as well, covering her eyes in mirth, before settling down. "Sorry," she smiled gently, reaching out and taking Cosima's hand in her own. "You can tell me. If you want," she echoed, giving Cosima's hand an encouraging squeeze.

"I'm kind of afraid to," Cosima answered, toying with Delphine's fingers.

"Why?"

"Because of what happened the last time," Cosima answered softly, running her fingers between the valleys of Delphine's. Delphine shifted her body closer, determined to prove she could be trusted, giving her all her attention. Cosima sighed, looking resigned. "I was sick," she started slowly, "last year. Like, really sick." She looked Delphine in the eyes. "Like…dying sick," she confessed. Delphine felt her heart skip a beat, but did her best to keep her face calm. "It's an autoimmune disease. Really rare," she laughed humorlessly. "It barely even has a name. I always thought, if somethings going to kill me, it should have a name, right? Like, I'd feel better about it if I could at least call it something. _Idiopathic Lung Nodules_ hardly sounds like anything worth dying for."

Delphine's mind was racing at the words "kill" and "dying", her stomach twisting. She felt like with each word, a fine wire was slowly coiling itself tighter and tighter around her heart. But she could tell that this was hard for Cosima, so she said nothing, only watched her with growing unease as Cosima continued to distract herself with Delphine's slender fingers. "Anyway, it got really bad. They were working on an experimental stem cell treatment, but I ended up getting an infection in my heart while I was waiting. Hence the wicked scar. Long and really miserable story short, I managed to hang on until the treatment was ready. And it worked," she smiled, glancing at Delphine, "here I am. A miracle of science."

"And you're…okay?" Delphine asked, her heart still racing.

Cosima nodded, "Totally clean bill of health. Though, you know. I could potentially have another flare up. But," she added quickly, seeing the look on Delphine's face, "that's where the stem cells come in."

Delphine felt the taught wire around her heart relax, letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "Thank you for telling me," she said, grasping Cosima's fingers. "But, what did you mean about 'last time'?" she asked.

"Yeah I was kinda hoping you'd forgotten about that," Cosima laughed nervously, running her fingers along Delphine's inner wrist. Delphine shivered, trying to stay focused. "See, I was dating someone at the time. Shay." Cosima took a moment before she went on, gathering her strength. "She couldn't handle it when I got sick. It was too much for her I guess. So she bailed, before my surgery." Cosima looked at her. "And it sucked," she added with a tight smile.

Delphine let out a breath of air. "Wow."

Cosima nodded knowingly. "I know, it's a lot. Sorry to get so heavy. But I figured it would be good to get it out of the way before—" she stopped, a blush blooming across her cheeks.

"Before…" Delphine asked, her eyes searching Cosima's face.

"Before I let myself fall for you completely," Cosima answered honestly. "Though, I'm pretty sure it's too late for that," she added with a self-deprecating smile. Delphine felt a smile replacing the serious line of her mouth, her mind now racing for an entirely different reason. She opened her mouth to reply but Cosima held up a hand. "Before you say anything, I just wanted to say that I totally understand if you don't want to get involved with me, knowing that could potentially happen. Your total honesty is key here because I think I would die if I had to go through that again, totally macabre pun intended," she added. Delphine again opened her mouth to reply but was interrupted by Cosima once more, "Unless I am totally off base here and your feelings for me are completely platonic, in which case I think I'll just die right now."

"Cosima!" Delphine laughed in exasperation, reaching forward and clamping a hand over Cosima's mouth. She brought her face close to Cosima's and let her hand fall away. "Shh," she ordered. Cosima's eyes dropped to Delphine's mouth, but before either of them had a chance to make the first move, someone loudly cleared their throat from somewhere behind Delphine. Cosima looked up, confusion written plainly on her face.

Delphine followed her gaze over her shoulder and looked up to see a guy standing just behind her, a very clean cut and handsome guy who just happened to be her ex-boyfriend. "Paul!?" she blurted out, sitting up straight in shock. She heard the conversation between Sarah and Felix grind to a halt as the panic in her voice drew their attention. "What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"I just came to visit a friend," he said lamely, indicating nothing in particular over his left shoulder. The two of them gaped at each other for a minute before the sound of a throat clearing reminded her that she was not at all alone at the moment. She turned back to see Cosima's eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them, her mouth a grim line.

"Cosima this is…"

Cosima nodded tersely, "Yeah, I uh, think I figured it out," she replied. Her voice had become aloof, her face non-committal. Delphine wanted to scream. This was not how things were supposed to turn out.

She turned back to Paul, eyes burning with fury, "What do you want?" she asked, her voice had no hint of kindness in it.

Paul looked down at her with an impassive expression on his face. "I'd just like to talk to you, if you have a minute."

Delphine looked behind her at the group of silent people who didn't even bother to pretend that they weren't watching. She wanted nothing more than to tell Paul to go back to Montreal and never talk to her again, but it wasn't fair to him, and it wasn't fair to cause a scene in front of Cosima, either. She swallowed, shutting her eyes for a moment before addressing only Cosima. "I should…" she nodded at Paul.

Cosima looked down, unable to meet her eyes, "Yeah, of course," she waved a bangled wrist in Paul's direction, "Go ahead."

Delphine wanted to punch something. "Hey," she whispered, covering Cosima's hand with her own, forcing Cosima to look at her. The hazel eyes that met hers lacked all the warmth they usually had. "I won't be long." Cosima nodded, before turning towards the others. Delphine heard Felix mutter the word "shite," as she stood up and followed Paul away from their blanket.

Once they were out of sight, she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "Paul, this is far enough. What would you like to talk about? Did you know I would be here?"

His eyes were bright with anger, "What would I like to talk about? Are you fucking serious?" Delphine blinked in surprise, unused to him swearing at her. "How about you breaking up with me and then leaving town without a word? How about that?"

Her nostrils flared, "I think the whole point of breaking up is that you are no longer accountable to the other person for your actions," she hissed, "So I don't see why I should have to inform you of anything."

He took a step closer to her but she stood her ground, refusing to back down, "Oh I don't know, maybe because it's common fucking decency? We dated for two years Delphine, and I had to find out that you'd moved from Josh. Fucking _Josh._ Do you know how shitty that made me feel?"

She crossed her arms. She knew on some level that she should have told him she was moving. But she also knew he would have tried to stop her, so she kept her mouth shut and asked their mutual friends to do the same. "Look, Paul, I'm sorry that I hurt your feelings—"

"'Hurt my feelings?'" he parroted, "This isn't some after-school special, Delphine. You fucking gutted me, with no real explanation or warning as to why, and then you left the province without a word."

He was so in her face that their chests were practically touching. Her face was a mixture of indignance, fury, and guilt. She hadn't been able to explain it to him because she hadn't even been able to understand it herself. Being with him just felt…wrong. He wasn't enough. Her life there wasn't enough. But she knew he'd never understand that, and so she hadn't bothered to tell him. "Paul, I wasn't happy. The life we had together, it isn't what I wanted."

"Then what do you want?" he asked, his eyes searching hers.

"I've got what I need, now. Can we just leave it at that? I have to go."

She turned to walk away, to find Cosima and make everything right, when she felt his grip on her arm, strong enough to hurt. Her eyes whipped back to his.

"Have dinner with me," he ordered.

"No," she answered, tugging her arm from his grip.

"Delphine, please." His voice had changed, there was a pleading in to it that made Delphine's skin crawl. His voice hardened again, "Come to dinner with me, or I'll go and ask your friends to convince you instead."

The thought of Paul talking to Cosima, trying to get her to sympathize with his cause made her want to smack him in the face. Instead, she yanked her arm out of his grip. "Why do we need to have dinner?!"

"I think I deserve some closure, Delphine. You can at least give me that," he said seriously. "One dinner, it won't kill you."

"Fine," she huffed. "Sunday. And then I'm done." She stalked away from him as fireworks started to explode in the sky, the enormous lights sounding like accusatory gunfire in her ears as she marched across the sea of people. She reached their group's blanket and saw Cosima, her solemn face painted with splashes of reds and greens as Sarah's arm rested protectively around her shoulders. She walked up right next to where they sat and reached her hand out to Cosima.

Cosima looked up at her for a moment's hesitation before reaching up and taking her hand, allowing Delphine to pull her to her feet. Without a word, the colourful blooms of pyrotechnics painting the sky around them, Delphine dragged her across the grass, away from the crowds, away from the stares, away into a dark and more densely forested corner of the park.

As soon as she was sure they were alone, she scanned their surroundings, her eyes flicking around before they lit on what she was looking for, and pulled Cosima in that direction. She stopped them in front of a sturdy looking maple tree, Cosima's face a mixture of confusion and wariness. "Delphine, what are we…?"

Delphine took her by the shoulders and pressed her slowly and deliberately against the tree, the back of her head cushioned by her dreads. Cosima's eyes widened in realization as Delphine pressed her body against Cosima's sharply, hearing the air leave Cosima's lungs as their chests met, and kissed her so hard she heard their teeth connect. Cosima let out a moan of surprise and arousal as her hands came up to rake through Delphine's curls.

Delphine pressed Cosima even tighter into the bark of the tree, wanting to envelop her, not able to get close enough even though she was pressed so tightly against her she could feel Cosima's heart beating wildly against her own chest. She pushed her tongue into Cosima's mouth, tasting the sweetness of that intoxicating beverage of hers, and gripped a fistful of dreads. She felt Cosima's hands frantically yanking up her dress until it was rucked up around her hips, her blunt fingernails scraping up the length of Delphine's thighs.

She cried out at the feeling and ground her hips into Cosima, who let her head drop to the side so Delphine could finally drag her tongue up the length of her neck, tasting her sweat and her skin and her pulse against her tongue. She could feel the bark of the tree scraping the flesh of her knees as she wrapped herself further around Cosima, and the sharp button of Cosima's shorts digging into her pubic bone, but the biting pain only made her feel more aroused, more alive. Above them, the fireworks continued to blossom in the sky, and they had changed somehow from the harsh, machine-gun like staccato to a celebratory and triumphant sound in Delphine's ears.

She peppered Cosima's neck with kisses as they ground against each other, and her hand was on the button of Cosima's fly before she felt a hand cover her own. "Wait, wait, wait," Cosima panted, kissing her wetly once, twice, three times. "Hang on, let's just slow down a second."

"Seriously?!" Delphine panted, their chests heaving. She dropped her forehead until it leaned against Cosima's.

Cosima laughed breathlessly, "Yes, seriously." Straightening her glasses, she lifted her head until she was looking Delphine in the eyes. The fairy lights of the fireworks sparkled in the lenses of her glasses. "I want you, you know that. I want to be _with_ you," she added. "But I need to know where you're at," she continued, pressing a finger to Delphine's sternum.

"You want to know where I'm at?" Delphine asked, taking Cosima's hand and holding it over her heart. "I'm with you. All the way. Whatever happens," she said seriously. "That's where I'm at. That's where I've been, for quite some time." Cosima's smile split across her face , and she pulled Delphine down to kiss her slowly and deeply as the fireworks above their heads continued to rocket through the sky.

As the fireworks faded, another band started up, a little more raucous sounding than the earlier ones. Cosima broke off their passionate kiss, her ear tilted towards the music. "Shit, that's Cal's band," she sighed. "Sarah will kill me if I miss it."

Delphine smiled, "Well, we can't have that."

They returned to their blanket to find Felix and Sarah roaring with laughter, clutching each other while holding cups with a familiar brown liquid in their hands. It took them a minute to realize that Sarah had thrown her bra onstage and Cal was now playing with a leopard print undergarment dangling from the neck of his guitar, and a beaming grin on his face.

The two women sank down on the blanket to enjoy the rest of the show. Delphine put her arm around Cosima and pulled her close, tucking the smaller woman against her side. Cosima smiled and dropped her head onto Delphine's shoulder, resting a hand on her knee. Delphine smiled to herself, utterly content with the warmth of liquor in her veins, the stars glittering above her head in the sky, the feeling of Cosima cuddled to her side, and all thoughts of Paul, for now, forgotten.


	4. Delphine Again

"Before we start, just promise me you'll hear me out," Paul asked stoically.

Delphine, seated across from him at a local restaurant, crossed her arms defensively. "Alright, Paul. I'm listening." She took a sip of water, unable to even contemplate having wine after the magnificent hangover she'd woken up with the day before. As hungover as she'd been though, she'd had a silly grin on her face the entire day at the memories of her night with Cosima, memories of laughing and touching and dancing until the wee hours of the morning. It was only when she'd remembered the run-in with Paul that she'd groaned into her hands, kicking herself for agreeing to have dinner with him. Still, she knew that if she hadn't, he would have persisted until she agreed. Paul nearly always got what he wanted, and never accepted "no" very easily.

Paul cleared his throat, spinning his water glass in his hands. "First of all, I need you to know that even though you've hurt me so badly, I still love you."

Delphine looked out the window they sat next to, wringing her napkin in her lap. Her barely touched salad was pushed to the side of the table, the heat and her nerves having taking away her appetite. She gave the waiter a tight smile and a nod as he whisked away her plate, completely unaware of the tension at the table.

Paul had paused, clearly giving her a moment to say something back, and she saw his jaw clench when she didn't take the opportunity. Clearing his throat, he continued, "And if you're really set on finishing your degree here in Toronto, I am willing to relocate for you. Business is booming as usual and I've even been thinking of opening a second location here. It would be a good opportunity to expand." Delphine pressed her lips together, her blood boiling at Paul's presumption, and began to strangle the napkin in her lap just beneath the table.

Paul continued, completely unaware that every word that came out of his mouth was doing nothing except driving the object of his affections further and further away from him. "I've been looking at a few potential apartments that are near your university, they'd be perfect for us Del." He leaned forward, his forearms on the table. "I'm willing to go the distance for you. We've already put so much time into this relationship, it would be a waste to just throw it away on a whim."

The way he said " _a_ whim" made it feel distinctly as though what he wanted to say was " _your_ whim". Delphine ground her teeth, but continued to acquiesce to his request that she hear him out. In her mind, as he continued to dig himself deeper, she was already formulating a response, and Paul was not going to like it. She felt anxiety ripple through her body at the thought of turning him down for the third time, but pushed it aside.

"I know things got a bit stale there for a while, but you were at school more often than not, and it can't be all on me to keep things going in this relationship. It's a two-way street, Delphine, and you were letting things slide too, you have to admit. I mean," he lowered his voice, "we barely had sex at all the last three months we were together." He looked at her, eyebrows raised as though she should be offering him some kind of explanation.

Incensed, she stood abruptly, needing to calm down before she caused a scene. She needed to handle this cleanly if she was ever going to get rid of Paul for good. "Excuse me, I have to use the washroom," she huffed. She saw Paul smirk and stalked away with her hands balled into fists, knowing that he thought she was excusing herself because the thought of them having sex was getting her hot and bothered. She stormed into the (thankfully empty) bathroom and slammed herself into a stall, resting her forehead on the cool metal of the door. She tried to slow her breathing, letting out a shudder at the thought of having his hands on her body ever again.

The reason they weren't having sex in the last months of their relationship was because Delphine could barely stand to look at him near the end. He never made her feel special, never made her feel wanted, the initial attraction she'd had for him had worn off quite quickly after they'd started dating, and now she couldn't find one reason why she'd ever stayed with him as long as she did. Not when a simple look from Cosima could make her weak in the knees, not when Cosima wanted to know everything about her, not when a single brush of Cosima's fingers was capable of making her more aroused than she'd ever been in her life.

She smiled to herself at the thought of Cosima, sitting down on the closed lid of the toilet as a warmth spread through her body. Her knees were still deliciously scraped up from their session together in the park, she'd had to be careful to pull the hem of her dress down so Paul wouldn't see and ask questions. She pulled her phone out and opened her messaging app, pulling up Cosima's name. At the end of the night they'd made a plan to see each other later in the week, Cosima was in class for the next few days so she hadn't heard much from her other than that.

 **How's your day?**

She texted, hoping rather than believing that she'd get an immediate response. She sighed with relief when Cosima's name popped up on her screen only a few seconds later.

 **Better now I've heard from you. Long day, project partner driving me crazy. Wanna come over later?**

Delphine's heart pounded, her smile a mile wide as she sat, camped out on the toilet in a restaurant bathroom.

 **I'd love to. Just say when and where.**

She replied.

 **Anytime after 9?**

Came Cosima's response, followed by her address.

 **I'll be there : )**

Delphine replied

 **See you soon, beautiful. 3**

Her exchange with Cosima giving her courage, she exited the stall, straightened herself out in the bathroom mirror and headed back to Paul.

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"Alright," she said abruptly as she sat down. "You have had your say. Now let me have mine."

Paul looked at her tensely, sensing in her tone that whatever she was going to say wasn't good. She looked him square in the eye. "I appreciate that I could have ended things with you a little less abruptly," she started, "and I'm sorry that it left any confusion on your part about where I stand. This wasn't just a petulant cry for attention, or for a grand gesture on your part, Paul. This was a decision that was a long time coming, and I stand by it."

Paul's nostril's flared. "Delphine, what is it? What do you want that I can't give you?" he asked, his voice raising. Delphine's eyes flicked to the tables surrounding them, unwilling to make a scene. "We make a great couple, everyone thinks so."

Delphine bristled, "Well maybe I don't care what everyone thinks!" she hissed across the table. She took a breath, ready to unleash. "Being with you was easy, Paul, but that was all. You seem to think that getting along is the only requirement to be in a relationship, but the reason I had been so uneasy for so long is because I want more than that."

Paul scoffed, "You want to break up because being with me is _too easy_? And what would change that, exactly?"

"Passion," Delphine spat.

Paul scoffed. "You want a romance novel. That's not real life."

But it _was_ real life. It was possible. She'd lived it only two days ago. She was living it now.

And she wanted more. She wanted fights and make ups and adventures. She wanted to be swallowed up. She wanted to spend a whole night learning the map of her lover's body, she wanted to spend an entire day doing nothing but eat fruit and have sex on every available surface. And she wanted it with Cosima.

What she didn't want was to spend her days going out with Josh and Adrienne for craft beer, or listening to Paul talk about his construction business ad nauseam without even once taking an interest in her studies. And she sure as hell didn't want to spend her life hearing him talk to people at dinner parties about their future children and upcoming plans, without ever asking her if that's what she herself wanted. Her whole life with him was infuriating in its mundanity, stifling in how the future lay mapped out ahead of them year by year.

When she'd seen the fellowship offered in Toronto six months ago, like a shining beacon of hope, she knew she had to take it. She knew it was her way out, and it was hard and terrifying to leave the familiarity and comfort of her routine with Paul, but she knew it was unfair to both of them for her to stay. And now, meeting Cosima, feeling the fire and the intensity and the passion that came from just looking in her eyes, she knew it had been the right choice. She knew with every cell in her body that this is where she was meant to be, and that realization made her feel as liberated and exhilarated as she ever had.

"I don't love you, Paul," she said frankly. "I'm sorry, but I don't."  
Paul's breath quickened, "I don't accept that."

Delphine sighed, eyes fluttering shut as she pinched the bridge of her nose, and shook her head in exasperation. "I don't really care."

"You don't mean that," he said earnestly.

"Why now!?" she sat up, ignoring his patronizing comment, "Why are you here now, six months after I left you?"

"Because Delphine, I want to marry you," he said urgently. "It took losing you to realize what I had. And it took a lot of convincing to get Adrienne to tell me where you'd gone, but as soon as I found out I go on a plane. I want you to me by wife, Delphine. That's why I've come to Toronto."

Delphine's jaw slackened, she felt as though she was going to be sick, her pale skin going paler still. "Paul…" she said uneasily.

"I can give you a good life, I know you're just confused right now," he said condescendingly, a soft smile on his face. Before she could say anything else, he leaned across the table, clamping his strong hands around her arms, and pressed a tight lipped kiss to her mouth.

She pushed him off, sputtering, and slid her chair back out of arm's reach. She reached down for her bag, preparing for a hasty departure, when she happened to catch eyes with someone on the other side of the window. Cosima stood just outside, a small bag of groceries in her hand that fell from her fingers and hit the sidewalk, her face pulled into grimace of confusion and disgust.

"Oh _shit,"_ Delphine whispered, her mouth open in shock. It wasn't until she saw Cosima turn on her heel stalk away from the sight before her that she was able to react. She snatched her purse, slinging it over her shoulder as she bolted out of the restaurant. The heat hit her like a physical object as she stepped outside, looking around frantically. The eggs Cosima had dropped were slowly starting to cook on the pavement. Delphine stepped over them and started to run in the direction Cosima had fled, looking down the side streets as she passed. "Cosima!" she called, digging in her purse to call Cosima's cell. She would explain, she would just explain everything. Cosima would understand. She had to.

She could hear Paul's feet slamming against the pavement as he raced to catch up with her and she spun around in fury. "Get away from me!" she yelled, pushing against his chest. "Do you have any idea what you've done!?"

He looked down his nose at her, "That was the girl from the other night," he said, his tone accusatory. "Are you…are the two of you…?!" he seemed so incensed that he couldn't seem to find the words to ask the question.

"Yes," Delphine spat, her chin tilted up in defiance. She had dated another girl before, but she'd never told Paul about it, so she wasn't surprised that he was reacting like an idiot.

He laughed derisively, "You mean all this…for that tiny little girl? For that _dyke?!"_

Delphine's hand shot out, just like she learned in her self-defense classes in freshman year of college. The heel of her palm connected magnificently with Paul's nose, and she actually felt it break under the force of her hand, an almost comical spray of blood spurting out of his nose and across the front of her dress. He yelled, though it was more like a gargle, his hands clamping over the free flowing gush of crimson that was pouring from his face.

Delphine took a step towards him and had to suppress a grim smile at the way that he stepped back, stumbling away from her. "Don't you _ever_ talk about her again," she said, her voice dangerously soft. He sputtered in response. "I think I've made myself quite clear now, Paul," she finished, leaving him to bleed on the sidewalk.

She heard him shout "You're fucking insane!" as she rounded the corner.

She would have laughed at that, but she'd already burst into tears.

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"You're shitting me."

"No, Tony. No shit," Delphine sighed, covering her face with her hands in exasperation.

She's come exploding into the house 20 minutes earlier, dress covered in a spray of blood, her face soaked with tears, and Tony had immediately wrapped her up in his arms and held her until she could stop weeping long enough to tell him what the hell had happened.

She'd changed into a fresh, loose dress, and was presently stretched out on the couch with her hands planted firmly over her face. She was feeling a mixture of rage towards Paul, mortification that she'd actually let her temper get to her enough to break his nose, and complete and utter despair at the look on Cosima's face as she'd witnessed their involuntary kiss.

Tony handed her a cool wash cloth and she accepted it gratefully, passing it over the swollen skin of her face. He leaned against the living room wall, his arms crossed, a proud, lop-sided grin on his face. "Damn, girl. I can't believe you broke his nose!" he punched his fist into his open palm with enthusiasm. "What I wouldn't give to have been there. I always knew you had that in you though, I've seen you in Noodle Joust. You get that look in your eyes and I know I'm going down."

Delphine groaned and tossed the wet cloth at Tony who caught it in one hand. "Tony what am I going to do?" she asked pathetically, a wave of fresh tears threatening to fall.

"Hey, hey, hey," Tony came walking towards her, sitting on the edge of the couch. He took one of her hands in both of his own. "You've been head over heels about this girl for months, you can't give up on her now. Just explain it to her, kiddo. She may be pissed right now but once she understands what went down, she'll come around. Guaranteed."

"I tried calling and she won't pick up," Delphine sniffed, knuckling a tear out of the corner of her eye.

"I think this is the kind of explaining that warrants being there in person," he advised wisely, running his fingers through his beard.

She sighed, "You're right."

"Course I'm right," he grinned. She shoved him playfully in the shoulder and he laughed, catching her arm and dropping a kiss to the back of her hand.

"Thank you, Tony," she sighed, sitting up with effort. She had a pounding headache. Part of her wanted to go and fall asleep on top of her covers and forget about the drama that had played out in her life. But her desire to put things right with Cosima far outweighed that in her mind. Tony pulled her to her feet and gave her a squeeze on the shoulder.

"Go get 'em, kid."

She laughed, her eyes sliding shut. "You know I am six months older than you, right?"

He shrugged. "Age is just a number, baby."

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She leaned against the outside of Cosima's building, letting the hot wind that blew through the early evening dry the sweat on her skin. It picked up the edges of her dress and whipped the fabric against her thighs, and she was reminded of Cosima's frantic fingers tugging at her dress in the dark. Taking a deep drag of her cigarette, she let her head fall back against the warm brick and exhaled. The sun was sinking like a blood-red stone on the horizon, painting the world orange, illuminating her pale skin. She closed her eyes, emotionally exhausted. The past little while had been such a roller coaster. She'd finally let herself acknowledge how far gone she was for Cosima, only to have things fall apart two days later. She'd needed this moment to gather herself, to prepare for what she knew would be a battle. Because she instinctively knew that Cosima's passionate nature was not limited to only the positive aspects of her life. She sighed, taking a final drag on her cigarette and flicked it in the ashtray someone had left outside the building, squaring her shoulders and heading to the front door.

 _Je n'ai pas peur._


	5. Cosima Once More

It was like being kicked in the stomach.

No it was worse than that. It was like being kicked in the stomach by a massive dude wearing steel-toed boots. Or maybe a really big horse, one of those Clydesdales. That was the closest thing Cosima could think of that compared with the moment she'd seen Paul and Delphine kissing, right in front of her. It was so surreal, she couldn't even believe her eyes at first. But seeing Delphine's shocked expression when they caught eyes through the window was enough to convince her she wasn't dreaming.

Cosima felt her mesh grocery bag slipping from her fingers, and a distant part of her registered that the carton of eggs she'd just bought were currently oozing across the sidewalk, but the only thing that her body seemed to be capable of doing was to stand completely still, feet planted to the ground. The feeling of egg yolk, already hot in the sun, running across her sandals was what finally gave her the freedom to turn on her heel and walk ( _walk, don't run, don't run,)_ as fast as she could away from the scene playing out in front of her.

She heard Delphine calling after her, but couldn't bring herself to turn around and talk to her with the waves of betrayal and humiliation that were crashing through her body. Eyes burning with tears, Cosima ducked down a side street and took a roundabout route home, fighting with everything she had to keep from losing it before she was in the privacy of her apartment. Her heart was pounding so hard she felt like it was going to tear through her surgical scar, could practically feel the seams of that angry red flesh ripping open with each bounding pulse.

She placed a hand over the scar, and quickened her pace.

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"My life is a complete disaster," Cosima groaned.

"It's not a disaster," Sarah sighed, "Felix, tell her it's not a disaster." The three of them were sprawled on her living room floor, the coolest place in the house. There were several fans wafting across them, and intermittently Felix would lazily spritz them all down with a spray bottle full of ice water.

Felix sighed, "Well, it's not exactly good though, is it?" Sarah smacked him.

Cosima looked at Sarah pointedly, her head propped on a pillow. "Let me recap. I finally, _finally,_ allow someone into my heart after Shay tore it out of my chest and stomped on it, only to have it pulled out yet again, and this time ground into a fine powder and tossed into the gutter."

"Colorful," Felix murmured, almost to himself.

Sarah grimaced. "Yeah, your life's a complete disaster. Your love life at least."

Felix chuckled, "I can't believe you actually saw her kissing her ex. Like what exactly are the odds that you'd be walking by the restaurant at that exact moment? It's like you're living through an episode of that god-awful lesbian program, what was that called?"

"The L Word," Cosima moaned from between the fingers that covered her face.

"Yes!" Felix kicked a foot in the air with a laugh and passed Cosima a lit joint. "Yes, that's exactly what your life is. Add in a turkey baster and you are that show, completely."

"Thank you, Felix, I'm so glad you're getting a kick out of this." Cosima took a hit of the joint, and passed it to Sarah. Cosima sighed, "Two days ago, man my life was perfect. How did it go to shit so fast?" When neither of her friends had an answer for her, they lapsed into silence, passing the joint back and forth. Cosima closed her eyes, trying not to remember the feeling of seeing Delphine and Paul through that window, trying not to cry. She refused to pine over this girl. She'd spent so much time mourning over Shay and she was not going to waste another second of her life pining for anyone else. No matter how incredible they had seemed to be. No matter how smart, or beautiful, or funny. No matter how good of a kisser.

She groaned and Felix spritzed her gently with the water, a feeble attempt at comfort perhaps, but it was something at least. She'd never felt so stupid, so foolish. She'd actually believed everything that Delphine had told her. Cosima felt anger welling up in her chest, and was overcome with relief. Thank god.

Anger she could deal with.

Anger she could use.

The white noise of the fans droned through the warm natural light of the apartment, the setting sun slicing through the uneven spaces in Cosima's blinds as the three of them were lost to their own thoughts. Sarah was the first one to hear the knock, nudging Cosima with her foot as she sat up on her elbows. "Oi, Cos. Someone's at the door."

Cosima's mouth went dry as she sat up, already knowing exactly who it was. "What do I do?" she asked Sarah frantically as another, louder knock sounded at her door.

"Answer it, ya knob!" Sarah gesticulated towards the door.

"But I don't want to talk to her!" Cosima hissed. "I don't want to hear whatever bullshit excuses she has to say."

"Well I do," Felix announced, making to stand. Cosima tackled him back to the ground.

"Absolutely not! No one is answering it! We are waiting until she leaves!" Cosima whispered harshly, pointing a finger at Sarah as she pressed her knee further into Felix's back.

"Ow! Alright! Jesus!" Felix whined, Cosima releasing him.

Sarah raised her eyebrows, "You're seriously just gonna leave her out there. You realize how childish that is?"

Cosima huffed, her face incredulous. "Really? You want to talk to me about being childish?"

Sarah rolled her eyes, "Look, the girl cocked up, yeah? We get it. But Cosima, you've been madly in love with the girl for ages. I think you ought to hear her out. Maybe it wasn't really what it looked like. You know you'll regret it if you don't at least talk to her, Cos."

"How could I possibly have misinterpreted what I saw?" Cosima retaliated.

"Only one way to find out," Sarah replied, an eyebrow raised as she indicated the door with her head.

Cosima sighed, fuming. She stamped to the door and opened it, realizing right away that it had been a mistake. Delphine stood in the hall, her fist raised to knock a third time. Her eyes were red and puffy, her face pale and drawn. Her hair was even more wild than usual, as though she'd run her fingers through it multiple times. She looked exhausted, and terrified, and like she was about to cry. She was, hands down, the most beautiful thing Cosima had ever seen. Cosima steeled herself. "What do you want, Delphine?"

"I want to talk to you, Cosima," her voice was calm, but her eyes said otherwise.

"Well I don't want to hear it," Cosima answered, starting to close the door. She couldn't let her in. It was too dangerous. She'd already been hurt enough. Delphine's hand shot out, keeping the door open.

"Please," she whispered. Cosima looked up at the intensity, the desperation in Delphine's voice. Her eyes were blazing. Stubborn nature battling with her weakening resolve, Cosima stood staring at Delphine for several moments before the door opened wider, Sarah and Felix appearing at Cosima's side.

"We were just leaving," Sarah said with a terse nod to Delphine. The expression on her face was cold, but there was an underlying layer of sympathy in her pretty features. She and Felix stepped past the two women, Felix making frantic "call me after!" gestures with his hands behind Delphine's back until Sarah shoved him around the corner.

Cosima's attention returned then to the incredibly beautiful and distraught woman standing in front of her. After another moment's hesitation, she stepped to the side, Delphine not wasting any time following her into the sweltering apartment. Cosima locked the door behind them and leaned her back against it, not wanting to come any closer to Delphine. She was already feeling that magnetic pull, was already being drawn in, and she had to physically anchor herself to the door to fight it.

Delphine turned around, a few strands of hair being blown across her face by the fans. She hooked them behind her ear, looking at the floor, twisting her hands together. "First of all, I wanted to say that I am so sorry, Cosima. I know I've hurt you, and I know that after all you've been through, it's the last thing that you need." Cosima waited. "I know that what you saw, it looked…bad," she continued. Cosima scoffed, the sound seeming to give Delphine the courage to find the words. "It wasn't what it looked like, Cosima," she said urgently.

Cosima shook her head, "Delphine, it was exactly what it looked like."

"It wasn't," Delphine shook her head frantically, her hands clasped in front of her. "Please believe me."

"Give me a reason to believe you," Cosima countered, her face impassive.

"Cosima, he kissed me, yes, but I didn't kiss him back. I pushed him off, you must have seen that!" she said quickly, her voice becoming frantic. She took a step towards the smaller woman.

Cosima held a hand out in front of her and Delphine stopped mid-step. "Bullshit, Delphine. Why were you even out with him in the first place?"

"Because he wouldn't take no for an answer!" Delphine sighed, her voice cracking as her head tilted back, eyes closing in shame. A tear slid out from beneath her closed eyelids, and she wiped it away.

Cosima laughed sardonically, her arms crossed. She refused to let Delphine's tears, the exhaustion and despair in the lines of her body, get to her. "So what, you just went on a date with him because he was pushy about it?" she asked harshly, her voice raising.

"It _wasn't_ a date!" Delphine answered, her eyes opening, voice raising to match Cosima's. Her frustration, and mounting anger was becoming evident in her eyes. "Cosima," she started, reaching a hand out to where Cosima stood, then letting it drop pathetically to her side.

Cosima balled her fists behind her, fighting the instinct to close the distance between them. She drew on the image of that kiss, knowing it would give her the anger she needed to be strong. "Dinner at a restaurant, what would you call it then? What if he'd wanted to sleep with you, Delphine? What would you have done?!" Cosima pushed, her chest heaving, the anger and pain pouring out of her. She wanted to make Delphine hurt, like she'd been hurt.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that, Cosima," Delphine retaliated, her voice becoming low and dangerous.

"What if he'd asked you to go back to Montreal? Would you have packed your bags?" she continued, eyes filling with tears of fury. Delphine was shaking her head silently, face buried in her hands. "What if he'd asked you to marry him, what then? If he asked really nicely?!" she was shouting now, eyes blazing, and she knew she was pushing it. She knew she shouldn't be saying these things. But she'd gone too far to turn back now.

"He did!" Delphine spat, dropping her hands to her sides, not even bothering to wipe away the tears that streamed down her face.

Cosima looked as though she'd been slapped, the color draining from her face. "What?" she whispered, the bravado and rage gone from her voice. "What did you say?" she asked, her voice barely audible, almost childlike. She fought to keep her lip from trembling, steeling herself for the answer. She hadn't been prepared for this.

"I said no!"

Cosima felt tears sliding out the side of her eyes. "Why!" she demanded, voice raising again. She didn't know why she was yelling, when in reality she felt as though she was about to shatter. She just knew that Delphine's answer to the question would either destroy her, or be her salvation. She took a step away from the doorway, "Why did you say no?!"

"Because I love you, you asshole!" Delphine cried, her fists balled up at her sides.

Cosima felt all the anger and fear and pain leave her body in rush of white light, her eyebrows raising in shock. Delphine seemed as stunned at her own confession as Cosima was, and they stared at each other for a beat, the words hanging in the air between them, before Delphine lunged forward. Cosima's eyes went wide as Delphine stormed towards her, slamming her back against the door. She pinned Cosima's wrists beside her on the cool wood of the front door and kissed her, hard.

Cosima responded immediately, at last allowing herself to let go, and pushed her tongue into Delphine's mouth, tasting the salt of her tears. She tried to put her arms around Delphine, but her wrists were still pinned to the door, Delphine's grip vice-like, so instead she pressed as much of her body as she could against the length of the blonde's. Their chests were clashing together, their hips, as they kissed deeply and ferociously.

Cosima felt Delphine's hands leave her wrists, pulling out of the kiss with a loud smack. "Delphine, w—" her question was lost as Delphine reached down and gripped Cosima around the thighs, hoisting her up with an astonishing amount of strength. Cosima locked her legs automatically around Delphine's waist, her arousal increasing a thousand-fold, and leaned up to kiss her savagely as she felt herself being carried a few steps away and dropped heavily on the table in the hallway.

"Ouch," she chided in between sloppy kisses.

"Shut up," Delphine murmured into her mouth, a small, almost predatory smile on her lips. "Lift," she commanded, smacking Cosima's hip. Cosima, breath coming so fast she was practically hyperventilating, dropped her arms from around Delphine's neck and pushed herself up off the table with her hands, Delphine quickly yanking off her shorts and stepping between Cosima's legs to resume their position. "Still no underwear, hm?" Delphine noted with a grin, dodging Cosima's mouth and instead sinking her teeth into Cosima's shoulder.

Cosima cried out, cinching her legs tighter around Delphine, the feeling of that hot tongue on the skin of her shoulder making her eyes roll back in her head. "It's hot," she protested, barely even remembering what they were discussing as she yanked Delphine's dress up over her hips. "Holy shit," she gasped, realizing that Delphine was also completely bare beneath her cotton dress, the feeling of their naked flesh touching for the first time made her feel as though she was about to burst into flames.

Delphine's head dropped heavily to her shoulder with a gasp, also clearly overwhelmed with the feeling. They ground into each other, the table slamming loudly against the wall, and continued to kiss viciously, lips smacking, as their hands roved each other's bodies. Delphine yanked at Cosima's shirt, ripping it up over her arms and tossing it behind her, leaning down to pepper Cosima's chest with wet, hot kisses. Cosima moaned, running her short fingernails roughly up Delphine's back. "Take me to bed," she panted.

Delphine scooped her up for the second time, faltering as Cosima began to suck on her earlobe. "Cosima," she said breathlessly, "where's your bedroom?"

Cosima, brain thick and heavy with lust murmured, "I have no idea," into Delphine's neck, nipping at the pale skin above her pulse.

Delphine made a noise that was a mixture of an exasperated laugh, and a gasp. "Cosima!"

"Second door on the left," she laughed wickedly, leaning up to kiss Delphine deeply as she was carried to her bedroom and dropped unceremoniously on the bed. "You really have to work on your technique," she panted, her breath catching at the look in Delphine's eyes as she gazed down at Cosima's exposed body, spread out below her on the bed.

"I'd like to see you do better," Delphine said cheekily, whipping her dress up over her head in one fluid motion. Her hair cascaded around her shoulders, the light from the setting sun seeping in through the blinds, cutting her body into bands of light and shadow. Cosima's mouth dropped open, completely stunned at how achingly, devastatingly beautiful Delphine truly was. "What is it?" Delphine asked, teasing tone gone from her voice.

Cosima felt her eyes filling with tears. She knew how vulnerable she was, lying naked on her back, baring herself both physically and emotionally to this woman, and yet she didn't feel anything but safe under Delphine's intense gaze. "I love you," she said simply. Delphine's face lit up, her eyebrows raising, a wide, luminous smile spread across her face. She knelt on the bed, crawling towards Cosima until her body covered Cosima's completely, hovering over her without touching.

"I have loved you since the moment I first saw you," she whispered. She wiped away the tears that were spilling out of Cosima's eyes, kissing her damps cheeks, her eyelids, her fingers, her breasts. She slid a hand down the length of Cosima's belly, stopping just above her pelvis and looked back up into Cosima's eyes. "Let me show you."

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"You broke his nose!?" Cosima shrieked, ducking her head out from where it was buried in the freezer.

She stood completely naked in her kitchen, nipples hard as the frigid air from the freezer hit her body. Delphine, also nude, leaned against the kitchen counter opposite her, a look of pride and self-deprecation on her graceful features. "No one calls my Cosima names."

Cosima fished out a couple of popsicles from the freezer and tossed one to the blonde, an amused grin on her face. "You called me an asshole not four hours ago."

Delphine took the popsicle in her mouth, sucking on the treat suggestively as Cosima felt arousal stir in her belly. They'd had incredible, mind-blowing, life changing sex for a large portion of the evening, and yet Cosima was still not satiated. She knew she never would be. "Alright, no one but me then," Delphine answered with a smirk.

Cosima took a lick of her own purple popsicle, walking into Delphine's arms. "Back to the nose breaking."

Delphine laughed, "Well that's all that happened!"

"Alright then, tell it again," Cosima grinned, leaning in to kiss Delphine, whose frigid mouth tasted like cherry flavour. She felt Delphine hooking her free arm around her waist, bringing their naked bodies closer together. "Mm, you're gonna melt my popsicle," she started to pant, their kisses becoming more passionate.

"Put it back in the freezer then," Delphine suggested, her fingers skimming along Cosima's body, goosebumps rippling in their wake.

"Hey, wait, did you hear that?" Cosima asked, breaking off their kiss.

"What?" Delphine asked, taking the opportunity to lean over and steal a bite of Cosima's popsicle.

"It's raining!" Cosima shouted triumphantly. She raced to the window, the blue light of the evening made it hard to see, but she could hear it, and smell it. She stuck a hand out the window, feeling the drops on her hand, the coolness of the air. "Oh _thank god!"_ she laughed, Delphine walking up next to her to feel for herself. Cosima watched as her beautiful girlfriend ( _girlfriend? girlfriend.)_ reached an arm out, eyes closing in pure joy at the feeling of the cool drops on her fingertips.

Delphine turned to her, bringing her damp, naked upper body back inside. "Let's get dressed and go walk in the rain!" she gushed. She tilted her head back, wiping the cool droplets from her forehead. "Oh, what a relief!" she panted.

Cosima found it so hard to believe she had had so much fear about this woman. All the pining from afar, the anxiety that Delphine would not return her affection, the stubborn assuredness that she would hurt her like she'd been hurt before. The feeling of knowing that Delphine was hers, after everything…

Cosima smiled at her, heart full. "Yeah, what a relief."


End file.
